Speaking of horses getting loose...

After a series of unfortunate events on Saturday, several gates were left open, including the one leading to our property. Even if all the pasture and corral gates are left open, the horses and dogs cannot get out of our property as it's completely fenced with an electric gate to come in and out. Mostly,this makes me feel better about cars not screaming down our driveway to mow down our kids and dogs, but it also gives a sense of security that horses will not wander away.

Until Saturday night/Sunday morning.

At about 3am on Sunday morning, I heard a horse yelling for all it was worth and the frantic pounding of hooves going from one length of a field to another. It sounded a bit like Phelps. Pie and Flame are gone on a hunting trip with Adam's dad for a couple of weeks, so I could immediately eliminate those two from the drama. Adam will join his dad hunting next week.

* * * Dogs going nuts. To finish later...

8:34am - next day- Time to finish my story of almost woe.

A couple of days ago, one of the horses knocked down a couple of rails separating one pasture from another. Not a big deal as both pastures are fenced, gated and, again, even if by some weird miracle those gates are open, we have the gate to our property.

At 3am, my mind was slightly fuzzy and I thought that Phelps had stepped over the last, lowest rail and couldn't figure out how to get back to the other pasture. I listened to the whinnies and stampede for several minutes, thinking it would stop.

Finally, I got up to see what was going on. The yeller was Stetsan (not Stetson) the neighbors Arab, and he was going crazy. Though that's not super unusual, it was for 3 in the morning.

I was in PJ's, my husband's big, fleecy coat and Crocs. Not the best situation. None of my horses were in the adjoining field. Uh oh. Coyote? Cougar? Either was an option. I let my dogs out to help alert me and went to check on my horses. Belle, Phelps, Shelby...no Chavez or Dani.

No worries yet. The gate to our property is closed, or so I thought, so they must be munching in the hay stack or trying to get in with the grain, or just eating the lawn. I turned on all the outside lights and made my way around. No horses. As I crossed our back lawn, I saw that the pasture gate was open. Not good, so they are definitely out roaming our property somewhere.

I crossed to the side yard to see if they were eating over there. THE FRONT GATE IS OPEN. In a matter of seconds, I went from meandering around my own house at 3am to grabbing halters and leadropes and thinking I should probably put on some more supportive undergarments.

Adam was sleeping on the couch upstairs (we have a reverse living home) because he had a cold and, kindly, didn't want me to get sick. I called up that the horses got out of our property and he asked "which ones?". I told him, he said "okay" and went back to sleep. O.....kay.

I ran back to the tack room to get some horse cookies and heard Levi, my 4-year-old, screaming at the top of his lungs. Only the worst goes through a mothers mind when her child is crying and screaming in the middle of the night. I dropped the cookies and ran to my kid. He had heard me talking with Adam and went to look for us. We weren't in bed, and he didn't even think to look for a parent upstairs. Why would he? He was outside in his bare feet, crying and looking for us. Though I don't understand why my kids first idea is that we've left them and moved to Zimbabwe in the middle of the night, they still freak out. I calmed him down, Adam got up to see what the commotion was about and we got him back to bed.

Now, what is my plan to catch the renegades? I closed the pasture gate and walked out our front gate. I closed it, thought better of it in case they came back, closed it again, opened it. I don't think clearly that early. I walked down the canal road and immediately spotted hoofprints. I followed them until they got lost in the the sagebrush and Manzanita. I went toward the road and picked them up again, following the curves of Neff Rd. which is busy in the daytime, but blissfully empty at 3am. I followed the tracks to our neighbors with the horse. I couldn't see into his driveway. There was a beautiful full moon, but his place has lots of old growth trees and I couldn't see anything. I really didn't want to get myself shot by Old Bob who is 198 years old. Really, I think he's 88 this year. He can't hear or see very well, and I looked like a genuine horse thief with my halter and no flashlight.

I snooped around his shed where Stetsan can get out of the weather and saw no extra horses. I backtracked and followed their hoofprints going down the canal road the opposite direction. I could see I was going to have to get in my car.

I went back home, got in my car, an SUV with 4-wheel drive. That will be important information later. I drove down the canal roads, following hoofprints which went in BOTH directions. Not especially helpful, other than knowing they had been this way, not that they still were. I know our other neighbor on the far side, has a motorhome blocking the canal road right by his house, so I followed hoofprints until I saw the motorhome. I knew I'd have to turn around and go that way via the paved roads. It was pitch dark, with only moonlight to help. I have been down this road many times, and know there is an open patch right in front of me. I stopped, pulled forward, backed up to turn and...went nowhere. The super soft dirt had caved under back tires and I was good and stuck. I put it in 4 low and rocked back and forth a little. This only served to dig my back tires deeper in.

Yes, this is just what I need.

I'm only a few hundred yards from my house, but it will take me about half a mile or a little less, to traverse the roads to get there, unless I want to cross the canal in my pjs at 3:30am.

I got back home, changed into slightly more reasonable clothing and fired up the 1982 dually diesel. Not the quietest vehicle, as you can imagine. Avoiding the canal roads, I drove around our neighborhood, looking for signs of the horses. Nothing.

I am about to go back to the house and drink all the liquor when I saw a car coming toward me. It was a police car. I tried to flag him down, but he ignored me and kept going. He turned into the fire station which is close to our house and I turned around and followed him. I caught up with him as he was getting out of his car, and told him my tale. He seemed remarkably unconcerned about 2, thousand pound animals roaming the neighborhood and said that, technically, it was not his jurisdiction. It was the county I should talk with. I asked him what he was if not the county police. Apparently, the police and fire station only 1/2 mile from my home are CITY personnel and I need to talk with COUNTY personnel. Lovely.

I gave him my name and number to pass along in case a COUNTY officer noticed two horses running amuck. I wasn't really expecting him to help look, but thought that he would care about the potential danger to motorists. But then, who really is at their best at 3:30 am?

I was getting nervous and was tempted to cry in frustration, but at the ripe old age of 29...okay...36, I know that is not only unhelpful, but will hinder my vision. I called the gal who trains Chavez and gives Faith lessons on her pony, Belle. Voice mail. I left a message, explaining the situation and kept driving. She called back within 5 minutes and said "We'll be right over." We? Someone cares. Praise the Lord!

I called my best friend, Patricia. Voice mail. I left my message. I called her husband, Paul. Voice mail. Same dumb message.

Within 5 minutes Paul called me back. His voice was wonky, but said they'd be right over. I love my friends.

I took the truck home, got more halters and leadropes and opened the front gate. I had previously fed the remaining horses, so they wouldn't be tempted to follow their buddies out the front gate. I had closed the pasture gates, but was slightly paranoid.

I walked back down the canal road toward Old Bob's house. Stetsan was screaming again and that was unlikely unless our horses had headed back that way. Just as I got to his driveway, I saw a large, dark shape moving slowly toward me. Chavez. I spoke softly to him and he walked closer. Then, my phone rang. It was Kali asking where to start looking. I said he was RIGHT HERE, and told her how to get here. I hung up and Dani turned and trotted off to a different house. Chavez followed. %$(*!#!

I walked back and met Kali and Les, her fiance. We spread out and walked toward where I'd last seen them. Les stayed on the road, hoping to turn them if they looked like they would cross it. There are miles of irrigation district land on the other side, and I really didn't want to try to find them there.

By this time, there were lights on in Old Bob's house. I walked up to his door and rang the bell. Thumps and crashes follow, but no Bob. Knock. Ring. Nothing. Suddenly, Bob came from around the other side of the house with a flashlight in his long handles. I yelled that it was just me. He said he was coming out to see what the noise was about. He checked on Stetsan, who was running like he was on crack, but was fine, and gave us the okay to look around and get our horses if they were there.

Paul called and said they were almost to my house. I asked them to go in the gate and wait there a minute in case the horses came back, as they were headed in that direction. We all met up and made a plan. Patricia went to my house to make coffee, Paul and Les spread out along Neff Road and Kali and I spread out and walked through the neighbors property. I spotted them in the neighbors yard, close to Bob's house. I called Kali with coordinates.

My phone buzzed with a text message "where's the coffee grinder?" My phone doesn't text. It spits out little symbols and I'm supposed to read the manual to figure it out. Not gonna happen. I called her and she whispered back. Adam was still asleep on the couch 20 yards from her.

Kali had brought horse cookies. She is teaching Chavez to target and when she said "Target" he walked up to her and got his treat. She haltered him, I put a rope around Dani's neck and we walked them home.

Once back home, the horses were put away, and we all went upstairs. Adam startled awake when the coffee was ground and he was mumbling gibberish, asking what I was doing. I told him Kali and Les, Paul and Patricia were here and they just helped me find the horses and bring them home. He was shocked. How could I call people up at 4 am and get them out of bed for horses!?! How could I explain that? At least he was wearing clothes, I guess.

Kali and Les don't drink coffee. Neither does Paul. Patricia took hers to go. Faith was up by then and was giving everyone hugs. She asked why we were all up and I told her. She looked very sheepish and crawled onto Adam's lap. Within a minute or so, she came up to Patricia and told her that she had left the gates open. She wanted to ride Belle in the pasture and had forgotten to close that gate. Then, she had ridden her bike up to the cul-de-sac and had left the gate open so she could ride right into our property. She had forgotten to close that one too.

Well, at least the mystery was solved. Faith was very brave to tell us. She caused 6 adults to be up way before they wanted to be on a Sunday morning. All is forgiven.

Now, what about my car?

When it got light, Adam took a different truck, not the dually, over to pull it out. We were able to rip the front bumper off, and scratch the paint, but the Envoy didn't move one inch. I called AAA and they arranged for a towing company to come pull it out.

Waiting on the tow, we went back to the house. Faith rode her pony with a neighbor friend and I had more coffee. The guy who showed up to tow out my car was very gracious and kind. It took several tries and some tactical maneuvering to get it out, but he got us safely back to civilization. When I asked him how many jackasses like me he pulls out of the ditch every day, he thought for a minute and said "ask me again in the winter.".

My car even works.